What we do is not who we are.

Today, in this moment of thought, I realize that all the time I have spent yearning, dreaming, hoping, and sacrificing my time for some perfect man has been a complete waste. I observe that I am no more than an imperfect human being who’s worth is all to the glory of God. And so, if I am cognizant to my own limitations of humanness, why should I spend another second assuming that an attractive man who contains many great qualities will satisfy my heart’s desires?

I see but emptiness, even in the creative, the intelligent, the athletic, and the artistic. Even if some potential suitor is a multi-talented, multi-million dollar gentleman, to what advantage do we have if there is no substance for relationship?

I feel an unseen emptiness when thinking about the talents, abilities, and accomplishments of another male. Not that those things aren’t amazing, inspiring, and desirable, but that those things do not really tell me who they are. The condition of their heart. Of their relationship with Jesus.

Sure, he runs marathons and composes musicals, but will he run to the ends of the Earth with me and let me sing lead from time to time? Sure, he speaks five languages and travels the world, but will he speak the language of my heart and travel the world with me? Sure, he is the CEO of a growing company and obtains numerous perks, but will he be a leader when I am struggling and bless me from unconditional love?

What we do is not who we are. What has our heart’s affection is who we are.

If it is God, then surely boundless love and opportunities and provision await you as you take your next steps in marriage. If it is your own self, abilities, money,  or your husband/wife, then your life will falter because an unstable and changing source has become its nucleus.

I mean, just think about how much you struggle when just trying to do everything on your own. You just can’t. We were made for relationship. Love is a safe place–the center of a tornado, an island in a sea storm.

It is where chaos is forgotten and the freedom of healing abounds.

Love is everything.

So don’t choose a person’s visible qualities. Choose the person.

Choose love.


One thought on “What we do is not who we are.

  1. You write well. I enjoyed reading this blog. I do not necessarily put my faith in an entity whose doctrine was written by men. I do believe in love. It seems as though love has turned into a two party affair. Many pursue intimate love but there are other forms of love. Where is the love for friends, the love for strangers, the love for preserving our planet, the love for accurate information, etc. I believe that once an individual sheds the desire to be loved intimately by another, he or she can find freedom to be selfless in sharing all forms of love. Do not get me wrong, intimate love is special but I believe the others need to come first.

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