It’s All Grace.

I was molested when I was 8 years old.

You’re not supposed to see a penis at that age. You’re still supposed to dream about Prince Charming, watch Barney, and play with stuffed animals.

I was molested when I was 8 years old.

My childhood was deformed starting at that moment. I would be so curious about sexual things. About bodies. About my own body. About other people’s bodies.

It just isn’t right.

In highschool, I stumbled upon the vile thing that is Pornography. Oddly enough, I became addicted to something which probably influenced the teenage boy to molest me when I was 8.

Hilarious how that works out?

But, you know what?

I’m tired of being sad. I’m tired of being angry about all the men that I feel have wronged me in my life. I believe that God is going to rock my world with a man who will treat me like the princess I am.

I am a princess. I am royalty. I am not a man’s commodity, you better believe it. 

Yes, there is still pain, and yes, it hurts like hell, but Jesus died for me and for the teenage boy who molested me.

Jesus died for my Father who chose church over me.

Jesus died for my brother who said mean things to me.

Jesus died for the Christian 20something who drank too much, kissed me, and decided he didn’t want a relationship with me the next morning.

Jesus died for the Christian 20something who masturbated over the phone while having a conversation with me.

And Jesus died for me.

It’s all grace. We all need grace.

But I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I don’t want you to judge the actions from the aforementioned list. I love my dad. I love my brother. Our relationships are growing.

Turning the other cheek doesn’t mean letting people take advantage of you. I believe it means to forgive, because we all need God’s grace to move forward.

 

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